Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Brad Miller's avatar

“We create meaning and belonging, we don’t find it.”

Same thing with happiness. You can search as long as you want, but you aren’t going to find happiness. It’s not something you come across like a buried treasure. Happiness comes from inside. It is a state of being. You have to BE happy to be happy. As it is with meaning and belonging.

I’m not exactly sure we have such trouble with this, why we keep looking externally for things. Maybe part of it is fear — we are afraid of what we might find if we take a peek inside our own dark corners. And maybe it is our predilection for action. As long as we are doing something, we feel we are making progress. Seeking meaning/belonging/happiness/whatever-we’re-missing allows us to check off boxes. Sitting with ourselves, being in our head, doesn’t feel like we are doing anything.

Plus, of course, coming across a treasure chest filled with our meaning, or happiness, is a lot easier than having to create it ourselves. Why put in the work to make a million dollars when I can buy a lottery ticket and try to win it?

Studies have shown that people engage in nostalgia as means to boost their mood, self-esteem, and self-confidence, most often when feeling depressed vs. happy. Is it any surprise, then, that the focus on nostalgia has been so prevalent the last decade?

Expand full comment
7 more comments...

No posts